Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I have read the first two chapters of Self Talk, Soul Talk, by Jennifer Rothchild to participate in a Tuesday study at Leila's.  I have been aware of my self talk since starting to read it.  What I seem to do, is catch myself talking negatively to myself, then chide myself for doing that.  I like what the author said about holding thoughts captive. 

I've never done this, and didn't get all of the blogs read from last week, so I'm not sure if I'm supposed to answer the questions in the back of the chapter.  It's hard to answer some of them, and I'm uncomfortable writing the things I say to myself that are not based on the truth.  I grew up with low self esteem, and even as an adult, I've struggled with it, even after becoming a Christian. I love God, and know he loves me and accepts and forgives me moment to moment.

One of the things I marked in the book, from page 29 was, "You can't remove those hurtful thoughts, words, and memories, but by the power of God, you can drain them of their potential control over you." 

I also want to share that I have been drinking a variety of kinds of tea lately, and have been making it at work sometimes, when at lunch.  While I was reading the first chapter, I was drinking Earl Grey tea, as I was reading page 15, where Jennifer said, "Some things in life are only truly discovered through pondering, prayer, and a steaming cup of Earl Grey."  Earl Grey, usually decaf, is my favorite tea, and I smiled as I looked at the tag on my tea bag.

God bless you through this study!


  1. hmmm, maybe the trick is to go ahead and say those things out loud to someone, or to write them here--then they may look really silly and you'll realize that you don't deserve to be called those things...I bet you wouldn't call anyone else those things. We are works in progress aren't we?

  2. Sue, this is great. Love your honesty and so cool about the tea! :)

  3. Hello, my friend! It sounds like God really wanted to put an exclamation point on this chapter by using Earl Gray tea! How marvelous is He?

    I know what you mean about feeling uncomfortable writing down those things you think that are not based in truth. I think Pam is onto something, though. Do you keep a journal? I often tell my clients to keep a thought journal. When they bring it to session, we go over it together, switching the wording around to make it less self-defeating and more constructive. Keep in mind, even though I have done this with clients for years, I have caught myself several times this week just saying terrible things to myself!

    It takes practice.

    I admire you for jumping in, Sue. It's not easy to overcome low self-esteem, but Jennifer is right--through the power of the cross we can take the power from those thoughts that beat us up.


  4. Your books seems great! I think I will look for it when I am finished up with what I am currently reading.

    I'm glad to find a happy tea drinker :) I love tea and while I do drink coffee from time to time I always go back to tea. I haven't had Earl Grey in a while. Maybe I'll pick it up next we buy more. :)

  5. Hi Sue! I'm so glad you've joined in this study. I had to smile when I read your line, "What I seem to do is catch myself talking negatively to myself then chide myself for doing that." Oh, how I can relate! I can deride myself for deriding myself, worry about worrying, get depressed about being depressed, etc. It's like living in a hall of mirrors sometimes. You and I (and many others, I noticed) honed in on Jennifer's words "by the power of God". That is the secret to unlocking the hall of mirrors and making our escape. Thanks for coming by my place. I really enjoyed what you have written here:)

  6. Sue, I am so glad you joined us for this study.
    I know that I need to take meds for now. I would love to eventually get off of them. but if i can't and it is genetic, well then here I am. I know that depression (esp. bi-polar with my grandma) runs in the family. I don't know what that will look like for me. I have had a lot of junk from my past to deal with, and that is what this past year of counseling has been. dealing with the junk. Now that I am done counseling, i am in another transition period... learning to stand on my own, with God, and not running to my counselor when something gets tough (or hanging on till the next appointment.. putting it "on hold" till then) but now needed to deal with it with God the best I can, and put to use the tools I have been given.
    Maybe once I am done with the "transitioning" God will have me at a point where I feel more stable and able to deal with things where we will slowly wean away from meds and see how I do. I don't know yet.

    But in the meantime, i need to re-label a lot of things (continue that process started with my counselor) and use the sword of the spirit, the word of God to defend myself against the lies of the enemy.

    Thank you so much for your comments and prayers.
    God bless, and hope you enjoy this study!